1. (He'll never be an) Ol' Man River
I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix.

I saw his body thrashing round.
I saw his pulse rate going down.
I saw him in convulsive throes.
I said "I'll have one of those."

Hillary had,
Hillary had,
Hillary had it in his veins.

Hillary had Everest in his veins;
Armstrong did moon, was not the same;
Heroes explore to give us hope;
River pushed back the envelope.

Drank the slab,
Drank the slab,
Drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk.

I drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk;
I injected some of Hendrix's junk;
I booked a seat on Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane;
Mama Cass's sandwich? Ate the same.

Now I'm bored,
Now I'm bored,
Now I'm bored there's no stopping.

Now I'm bored and there's no stopping;
I need another celeb to fill a coffin;
Where'll I get my next drug action?
Odds on it'll be Michael Jackson.

I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix.

I'm on the drug

I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug,
I'm on the drug.
2. All Homeboys Are Dickheads
I know his dad's abusive
   And his mum prefers the daughter;
I know he's got an Attention
   Deficiency Disorder;
He's culturally excluded
   And genetically inbred;
But the reason he's a homeboy
   Is because he's a dickhead.

Tell me why,
Tell me why,
Tell me why he's a homeboy.
Tell me why,
Tell me why

(why, why, why, why)

We all support empowerment
   And positive discrimination
When your class, your race, your age, your face
   determines your social station;
A baseball cap and a love of rap
   Might need sympathy - but, still,
Possibly a homeboy could be
   A dickhead pure and simple.

Tell me why,
Tell me why,
Tell me why he's a homeboy.
Tell me why,
Tell me why

In the Brothers Karamazov
   Here's what Dostoyevsky said;
"Know your enemy well enough
   And you will pity them instead" -
And pity soon will turn to love
   Is what Jesus Christ once knew:
They changed their minds the day when
   They met a homeboy crew
3. Garbage
"Ladies and gentleman... TISM"

I met a member of Generation X
"Hey, what's in with you kids these days?
I'm so old I'll probably never have heard of it"
And then he replied "Purple Haze."

"Purple Haze."  (x2)

Now I know that we should seperate our Garbage
The enviroment'll give us thanks
It's going too far when teenagers recycle
Their parents adolescent angst.

Do you want to save the world?
Well don't recycle, cycle garbage.
Do you want to save the world?
Well don't recycle, cycle garbage.

Monday night is 50's night;
Tuesday night is 60's night;
Wednesday night is 70's night;
Friday night is Thursday night.


Paul McCartney once said the Sex Pistols
Were another band playin' Chuck Berry;
At the time I thought, "You boring old wanker",
Now I think it's down right scary.

Do you want to save the world?
Well don't recycle, cycle garbage.
Do you want to save the world?
Well don't recycle, cycle, cycle...

What's so good about the 60's
That we gotta keep rewinding the clock
You know the best thing about the 60's?
They'd never heard of classic rock

Do you want to save the world?
Well don't recycle, cycle garbage.
Do you want to save the world?
Well don't recycle, cycle garbage.

Well don't recycle, cycle garbage.
Well don't recycle, cycle garbage.

Do you want to save the world?
Do you want to save the world?
4. Lose Your Delusion II
Turn off SBS
Turn off SBS

Turn on Mike Moore, forget Mary Kostikidis
Time has come for restitution
Infotainment over news

Turn off SBS, neglect Mary Kostikidis
Like the rest of us I guess
She can no longer so impress

Why continue to keep trying
To separate the real news from the lying
In the end it all comes down to this

Turn off SBS
Turn off SBS

We all eventually switch
To lying and deception
We choose the tabloid pitch
Like some inner technical hitch
The high ideals that you once had
End up in your colostomy bag
Pick Paradise Beach over John Keats
Choose beauty over truth
SBS becomes RS like Mary after youth

Dead air

Loss of all reception

All of us must face the day  (no we don't)
When our ideals have flown away  (rubbish)
Just give in to our dismay  (no I won't)
Watch Ray Martin not Mary K.  (nup)
Time has been in our youth  (no it hasn't)
We sought accuracy and truth  (no we didn't)
Scoffed the commercial news
Satarised Hinch and all his views  (nup)
But oh how does time unnerve us  (no it doesn't)
The Special Broacasting Service  (no it doesn't)
Doesn't seem worth the hassle  (yes it does)
Don't change your life, change your channel

Turn off SBS
Turn off SBS

Turn on Mike Moore, forget Mary Kostikidis
Time has come for us to choose
Infotainment over news

Turn off SBS, neglect Mary Kostikidis
Like the rest of us I guess
She can no longer so impress

5. !OUY Sevol Natas
Sevol Natas
Uoy... uoy...

Mummy, she don't love you
'Cos you remind her of your dad
Teachers, they don't love you,
They get paid to call you bad
Government, it don't love you
'Less it's facing re-election
Pop star, he don't love you
'Less you lick his gnarled erection.

Sevol Natas

Well the gun lobby says it loves you,
But they say that guns don't kill
Christians say they love you,
Only 'cause it's the Lord's will
Sadists say they love you
Only if you don't want them to
Masochists say they love you
If you promise to hate them too.

!U-O-Y Sevol Natas  (x2)

Who loves you, pretty baby
Who's gonna help you through the night?
Who loves you, pretty mumma
Who's always there to make it right?

There's only one person who loves you
Break the code and understand
Play all those records backwards
Of those heavy metal bands.
Fuck me! fuck me! Lord Jesus,
The temperature's minus fifty
You've never seen vomit so green
And your head's done the full 360.
6. What Nationality is Les Murray?
The world is full of questions, they fill me with fear
What of our beginnings? Why are we here?
Is there a purpose? Is there a God?
But one question troubles me 
Far more than this lot
What nationality is Les Murray?
Wherefore hails his ancestry?
Whom does he call the mother country
When he phones home through OTC?

Everyone is searching for the meaning of life
Religion and politics, black versus white.
Karl Marx played on the left, Ayn Rand played on the right
But there's a much bigger problem. It stops me sleeping at night.


Les is More. More or Les.
Les is more, but one regret;
What is the origin of his descent?

Sweden? No
Portugal? No
Poland? No
Iceland? No
New Zealand? No
Canada? No
Bolivia? No
Israel? No
Yemen? No
Ukraine? No
Spain? No
Monaco? No
France? No

Is he from Austria? Algeria? Bahrain?
Bangladesh or Barbados? Bulgaria? Cameroon?
Is he from Chad? Chile? China?
Germany? Greece? Great Britain?
Is he from Guatemala? Guam? or Guyana?
Les is More
Haiti? Burundi? Zimbabwe?
Les is More
Kampuchea? North Korea? Tanzania?
Les is More
Senegal? Paraguay? Trinidad? Tuvelau? Ecuador? Uruguay?
Les is More
Azerbaijan? Madagascar? Swaziland? Guadeloupe?
Les is More. More or Les.
Les is More. Lest we forget.
Les is more, my one regret;
What is the origin of his descent?
7. Greg! The Stop Sign!!
The guy who stagged the football team
those yobs were not for him
turns into a realestate agent
who believes in discipline
That guy who was first to use cocaine
the wildboy breaking free
ends up in a court of law
as a prosecuting QC
remember that school captain?
success was a matter of time
i can hear her now as she screams
"Greg, you missed the stop sign!" 

Forget snoop doggy dog
forget ol' Ice-T
the true word out on the streets
is produced by the TAC
whats the use of striving
as lifes road ahead unravels
we get to do the driving
but don't choose the direction we travel
do your homework, or wag for weeks
and graffiti the dandenong line
it don't matter when you hear that scream
"Greg, you missed the stop sign!" 

some time in the next hundred thousand years
a comets gonna wipe out al' trace of man
i'm banking on it coming before 
my end of year exam
the rich kid becomes a junkie
the poor kid an advertiser
what a tragic waste of potenital
being a junkies not so good either
your folkes worked hard for what you've got
you are the fruit of their vine
who cares what you sow when what you reap is
"Greg, you missed the stop sign!" 

bought a car just the other day
man can that baby run
but you know what they always say
there's always a better one
got a tumor in my brain
it's creeping to my lungs
and i've searched around in vain
can't find me a better one

hardwired into everyones brain
is the person they're going to be
growing up is not a matter of choice
it's a matter of wait and see
and so kids yeah you can do it
remember to be your best

rage without fucking alcohol
you can pass the test
girls can do anything
i'm ok, your ok we're fine
i thought i heard a semi-trailer
"Greg, you missed the stop sign!" 
8. Play Mistral For me
It takes a great person to get an idea
but don't go public it'll ruin the plan
because no matter how clever and original you are
you're only as good as your fans

Peter garrett chanting Oil Oil
can you imagine it? i don't think you can
but as a Minstral once told me
you're only as good as your fans

Each man kills the things he loves
the fisherman caught in his own net
it's frightening that you deserve 
the audience that you get

So the beatles found out with helter skelter
and john lenno saw it in mister chapman
and the stones learnt from gimme shelter
you're only as good as your fans

yo! fight the power
what did i say
all the girls say Yo!
all the boys say Yo!
everybody say Yo!
here comes the hamburglar
Elle Mcpherson is really a person
but don't tell the guy who buys the calendar
Jump Monica,Jump Monica,Jump Monica,Jump Monica
you can't get a laugh out of Steffi Graf
if you tell her that her friends are a bunch of backstabbers
Kurt Cobain couldn't deal with fame
but at least he didn't score an own goal against columbia

so maybe we shouldn't hate Collingwood
or blame religion on JC
or marvel at the racist kids
who love public enemy
9. How Do I Love Thee?
Beware if i show intrest in your philosophy
take care if i wrinkle my brow in sympathy
look out if i treat you with due deference
watch out if i talk to you by preference

Mein Kampf-fire is burning bright
how do i love thee? let me count the ways

oh no i seem to like you
oh woe i lend a keen ear
great scott i seem to like you
guess what i find you execrable

Mein Kampf-fire is going out
how do i lov thee? let me count the ways

tell someone who is interested
tell someone who'll keep their lunch digested
tell someone who wants your conversation
tell someone who doesn't regard you an arguement for compulsory sterilisation
how do i love thee? let me count the ways
10. Jung Talent Time
Bert Newton; Warwick Capper; Samantha Fox; Richard Wilkins; Don Lane; 
Rocky Burnette; Ernie Sigley; Olivia Newton John; New Kids On The Block; Billy Ray Cryus; Uri Geller; A Flock Of Seagulls; Betty Boo; Vanilla Ice; Jacko; Bros; Cliff Young;
Victoria Nichols; The Daddo's; Tony Barber; Shannen Doherty; TISM; 
Fairlie Arrow; Mike Whitney; Chelsea Brown; Noeline Danher, 
Ugly Dave Gray; Jeannie Little; Peter Reith; Pete Smith; Brian Mannix; 
Scotty Palmer; Julia Roberts; Dennis Walter; Jade Hurley; 
Elle McPherson; Brian Bury; Denise Drysdale; Jo Bailey; 
Bongo Starkie; Russell Cooper; Edie Sedgwick; Bianca Jagger; Racey; 
Tony Modra; Gumpie; Paul Janoskis; The Pony; Brandon Lee; 
Travis Bickle; Kerrie-Anne Keneally; Terry Willessee; Harold Holt; 
Nadia Kominish; The Archies; Gary Numan; Tubular Bells; 
Alan Parson's Project; Peter Frampton; Lynyrd Skynyrd; Ken Done; 
Albie Mangels; Anyone called Trevor; Snow; General Ambrose Burnside; 
Yes; Smokey; Sailor; Graham Hick; Graham Taylor; Dr Hook; Jazzy Jeff; 
Mandy Smith; Lee Majors; Ivana Trump; Cicciolina; River Phoenix; 
Plastic Bertrande; Farah Fawcett Majors; Rob Lowe; Brenda & Brandon; 
Brett Eastern; All of Prince's girlfriends; Bubbles; Julio Inglesias; 
Kenny G.; Gordon Elliot; Paloma Picasso; Angie Bowie; Gerald Ford; 
Jeremy Jordon; Laurie Anderson; Diana Spencer; Prince Charles; 
Prince Andrew; Every Royal anywhere; Zsa Zsa Gabor; The Hood; 
The Cult; Sammy Davis Jnr.; Peter Lawford; James Dean; Dan Quale; 
Jim Morrison; Jethro Tull; Janis Ian; Pope John Paul I; Bill Wyman; 
Britt Eckland; Karen Finlay; John Cage; Any performance artist; 
Linda McCartney; Kim Basinger; Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music; 
Chipmunk punk; Andy Gibb; David Koresh; Everyone on Neighbours; 
Jennifer Flowers; Camilla Parker-Bowles; John Bonham; Starsky & Hutch;
Mickey Rourke; La Toya Jackson; Boyz II Men; Classix Noveau; 
The Knack; Kriss Kross; East 17; Pearl Jam; Jimmy Swaggart;
Pee Wee Herman; Tommy Hanlon Jnr.; Peter Andre; Greg Evans; 
The Sharp; Rex Hunt; Doug Mulray; etc etc etc 

Andy Warhol got it right
Everybody gets the lime light

Andy Warhol got it wrong
15 minutes is too long

But tonight
But tonight
But tonight
But tonight
But tonight
But tonight
Here's Johnny! 
11. Aussimandias
Some people hate the muslims
some people hate the gipes
some people have no problems
picking on the nips
how would you like to know about
the cocks your mother sucked?
it's one great long brutal shout
"you and all your race get fucked"

understandings fine i grant ya
but come on lets be frank
got no time at all for anothers culture
in the line at the autobank
inside us all there is a lout
when civilisations crushed
time has come to let him out
you and all your race get fucked

Don't call me whitey, nigger
Don't call me nigger, whitey

Theres nothin more to race relations
than a bit of push and shove
no need at all for United Nations
we got death behind the pub
black, white, yellow we agree about
why our hands are clutched
we want to punch each other out
you and your race get fucked

The irish hate the irish
and it's arab vs jew
your cactus if your kurdish
and by christ i'm sick of you
there's bullets to be sprayed about
and grenades to be chucked
there's two of us left so watchout
you and your race get fucked.

don't call me nigger whity
don't call me whity nigger

don't call me faggot yobbo
don't call me rapist leso

call me harold, call me ernest
just don't call me late for breakfast.
12. Give Up For Australia
May all our young Aussie swimmers
be resigned to failure
may our nations state
be always second rate
"Give up! Give up! Give up for Australia"

May timorese fisherman
evade the aussie sailor
may we do as history teaches
die on middle eastern beaches
"Give up! Give up! Give up for Australia"

We produce an Norman May
not a Norman Mailer
may this lands distance
always treat us with indifference
"Give up! Give up! Give up for Australia"

(Wait of about a minute or two)
(The rest is sung in Chorus Opera)

the pattern on her frock reminded me to order
a large cafe latte and a croissant
she said "stephen your looking older now"
"i'll have a short black" i replied

back in her room she offered me plunger coffee
i browsed through her rimbaud - no milk, one sugar
the light of the morning left us both aware
that probably we should have chosen drip-filter

she set fire to the gas burner - it flickered out
"you'll have to settle for instant" she mumbled
i could smell her perfume still lingering in my bed
but up phillip glasses arse is where i keep my head.